-I feel like that’s new for you… Being apathetic towards life. Maybe you just need to go somewhere new and experience change. Be excited again.
“I don’t think it has to do with needing something new. I’m setting up to do things I really want to do here. I eventually want to branch out, but not at this moment. I’m apathetic toward my life because of people… Lack of people. Lack of true friendship in my life. Lack of understanding. Lack of trust. Lack of inspiring, motivating, and creative people. I don’t think that I am better than people, I think that I am different from them. I am not better I am just on a different level of thought. I’m operating differently. I have higher expectations. I desire more honesty. I value more loyalty. The people around me settle for what’s around them and they’re happy that way. They don’t mind being surrounded by friends they can’t trust or friends who honestly just don’t care. They don’t mind the constant irresponsibility… They don’t mind the lack of stability… They don’t mind the shared relationships and ex-relationshis because they are content in thinking that’s just how the world works. That’s fine for them. It doesn’t mean I’m better or think I’m better I am just different because I recognize that the world isn’t this way… THIS world is this way. I have figured out how to operate in this world without being just like them because I just don’t want to be what they are and I don’t want their version of happiness. So, really I’m apathetic because I live in my own version of the world here. No one else is in that world with me so everything outside of it is just noise. What I’m doing in my own world and in my own head is creating, reaching, and believing in things outside of these people. My passion is a combination of both humanities and art. Studying people is like breathing for me… But only when I am inspired… Impressed… Or empathetic with those people… This PLACE has nothing to do with it. This is a city like every other city in the world… With people in it. That’s it. It’s how you THINK.. It’s what you DO… It’s who you CHOOSE to be that makes a difference… Not where you are… I sit in my room in my world and I write about things that I wish would happen or I conceptualize could happen. I read about things and people who exist in the world who are phenomenal. I watch documentaries about the lives of people who are absolute heroes in their own worlds. I go to work and I try to put art in every single thing that I do. I’m fine in that zone. In my world. Then I leave my world and I step out into the environment around me and just am bored. The same people with the same words and the same stories and the same bullshit. Over and over and over on repeat. And I honestly just don’t care. That’s it. I just don’t care anymore.”
