When your world falls apart… Take the time to realize how small it was and how small it kept you… Then go live in a bigger one… And grow… 

If you’ve ever sat in a group of your close friends and tried to tell your story but it was pushed down by all their stories and dulled out by the “I know how you feel” responses… This is for you. 

If you’ve ever heard the advice coming out of someone else’s mouth that you knew was the right thing to listen to but you covered your ears with what you want them to be saying instead… This is for you. 

If you’ve ever been angry at the thousands of girls who shed tears of obsession over the lead singer of the band that sings songs about not giving up on the woman he loves… Or you hate the thousands of girls who say “I wish it was me.” when they watch the boy in the movie fight for the girl… Simply because in the real world that singer is you and that boy is you but the girl is just annoyed… This is for you. 

If you’ve ever had conversations with an imaginary version of who you desperately want to be speaking to because you want to feel listened to … This is for you. 

This is for all of you and all of us. This is for every single one of us who bite our tongues because if we speak it’s pointless. This is for all of us who are sleeping alone because the person you love is sleeping with someone else. This is for all of us who haven’t reached that day when we will meet someone else who will move us on and erase the past. This is for those of us who have met someone who loves us but we are having trouble loving them back because our hearts are in vices that have faces. This is for all of us who are being pushed forward by life but desire to go backwards instead. This is for those who are not comforted by the idea that there are others who feel the same because we want to believe we feel something no one else does. 

This is for all of us who love unconditionally and have no choice. This is for those of us  who are left behind by the one’s we love and the only reason we are given that makes sense is life. This is for the ones that are told they mean the most yet there is someone else. This is for all of us who are brave enough to not bury our heads in feel better schemes and bullshit attempts at a change of heart. This is for everyone who believes in how they feel and won’t let it be taken or belittled. 

This is for you because nothing else is really for us. 

If I built you a house.

All people operate from the same two motivations: to fulfill their desires and to escape their suffering.

Learning this allowed me to finally make sense of how people can hurt each other so badly. The best explanation I had before this was that some people are just bad. What a cop-out. No matter what kind of behavior other people exhibit, they are acting in the most effective way they are capable of (at that moment) to fulfill a desire or to relieve their suffering. These are motives we can all understand; we only vary in method, and the methods each of us has at our disposal depend on our upbringing and our experiences in life, as well as our state of consciousness. Some methods are skillful and helpful to others, others are unskillful and destructive, and almost all destructive behavior is unconscious. So there is no good and evil, only smart and dumb (or wise and foolish.)

1. Love (s)

2. Lover (s)

3. One (s)

4. Person (People)

Afternoons have become my mornings and nights have become my days. Every day when my feet touch the floor I hope that the steps that I am about to take will lead me to a person who will change the way that I felt when I opened my eyes. I want to meet a person who will change the way that I feel about every single thing around me and change the way that I feel about every single person I know. When I am honest with myself I stop being angry because the truth is that I believe I understand why every single person’s behavior is in conflict with the feelings they have inside them and I understand that the reason for this is an attempt to avoid the suffocating pain of just simply not liking who they are. It takes the child inside you meeting the adult you’re supposed to be for the person you are striving to exist as come alive. When I allow the truth to fall out of my mouth the words that form are synonyms for love. I want to be unconditionally and loyally loved. I want to be capable of bringing the kind of happiness into another person’s life that demolishes the need for there to be anything else. I want to be significant enough in one person’s world to the point that the pupils of their eyes dilate with my reflection and expand until there is no white and when that person looks back at me I want my eyes to be a mirror that bounces it back. I want to be the moral not the story. However, when I take those steps that I am hoping lead me somewhere else and I see my face for the first time of the day the loneliness is what the mirror sends back. There is no one inside me… They all gave up at the surface.